She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
