I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
