if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
okay pat passed out under dana's car
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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