I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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