Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
