why didn't you poke me back
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
