"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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