The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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