I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
