speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
A bitchslap is in order.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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