Midget sex pt 2 tonight
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
