Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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