I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
