I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
