I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
