Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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