come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.