the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup