I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family