god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot