she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
