so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
