Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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