Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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