worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
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Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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