Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
