how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
