Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
