Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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