Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize