It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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