put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
