Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
