Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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