I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
