Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so that wasnt chicken after all
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
