I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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