actually, I'm a sock model
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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