Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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