i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just gargled with NyQuil
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