Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my liver is dry heaving
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
