Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
