his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
