I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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