I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
