She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
