I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize