Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
