none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
