Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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