I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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