You really coming over, don't trick.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
