Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
