I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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