my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
