we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
