her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
