Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
