We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
