woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
