Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
