so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
