I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
